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Curse of an ESL Teacher

I've just read an interesting blog article by an ESL teacher (i suppose?) teaching in Jeju island.

http://lostonjeju.blogspot.com/2008/12/vampires-on-jeju-island.html

It seems he has cheekily vented his dissatisfaction with hagwon (학원, 學院) directors through a review of “Curse of Jeju Island”, based on the excerpt and introduction published on this blog. For those of you who do not know what a hagwon is, it's actually a cram school that offers lessons in almost any subject such as computer, math, taekwondo, English and much more. Korean parents are many times more “kiasu” than Singaporeans, so these hagwons are actually quite prevalent across the country.

The ESL teachers have creatively twisted the term from “hagwon” into “hogwan”, i guess, as a dig from the word “hog”. Why do they associate hagwon operators with pigs? Well, I guess the main issue is on $ $ $ $, as you can see in his review:

But, if you think you signed a crappy contract when you came to Jeju Island to teach English you can feel fortunate you are not Jackie Chang!!

"I take aim and mow it down, then slowly walk towards it to see if it’s dying. If this vampire is fully subdued, the Governor will pay me a quarter million Korean Won for this feat."

Yep, Jackie gets 250,000 Won per vampire. That's about $200 US in today's money. $200 for killing a vampire(!?). Can you say "ripoff?" Jeez, and I thought some of the youngsters that show up on the island to teach English were stupid. Jackie makes George Bush's foreign policy advisors look intelligent! I think Jackie Chang would be a hogwan owner's dream.

Hahaha~! I think he's got a point. While Jackie can make use of US$200 for a decent Samgyupsal bbq and dozens of soju with Master Inada, it really isn't enough to cover rent and other living expenses, let alone the expensive hunting equipment, especially the silver bullets~! Haha... It's time for Jackie et al to raise fees.

LOJ also commented on the "Mirae Paradox":

Mirae just doesn’t enjoy that feeling of stabbing a sword across, or gunning a bullet into a vampire’s chest. She feels really bad about having to kill a fellow Korean. It just doesn’t seem right to her about killing a fellow countryman.

I guess that means if it was a Canadian created vampire English teacher, she'd have no problem cutting out its living guts and using them to grease the lugnuts on her Hyundai Sonata.

I almost LMAO over this, but i think he has nailed himself a good idea for a new storyline.

“Curse of Jeju Island” is currently distributed only within Singapore, as I doubt that Koreans would welcome the historical/political settings of this plot. On a second thought, however, this book might become a hit with the ESL teachers in Korea. I can imagine each of them buying a copy and using it as a dartboard or voodoo against the penny-pinching “hogwan” operators.

My thanks to LOJ for his humorous review. ;)

吸血迷情济洲岛

Chapter One

It’s a cold night on Halla Mountain (할라산). Crickets cast creepy choruses on the forest floor. We’re hunting a group of vampires who’ve been lurking on the far side of a ravine. I keep myself alert with my Japanese partner, Master Seiji Inada (稲田 誠治) on the opposite ridge. I was having very little success and I was about to call it a night, until I see a lone bat dashing across the moonlit canopy. I reload my .45-caliber revolver with fresh silver bullets and watch in silence as it morphs into its human form. As the wind blows bitter cold through the leaves, I see the shape-shifted figure moving through the underbrush. My finger hangs wearily over the trigger as I wait for the creature to come into range. There’s no time to check further—I peer around a boulder in time to see the vampire making a mad dash across the ravine. I take aim and mow it down, then slowly walk towards it to see if it’s dying. If this vampire is fully subdued, the Governor will pay me a quarter million Korean Won for this feat.
(picture source: Vampire Knight Anime)

My name is Jackie Chang (张杰齐) and I’m a Vampire Hunter. I'm average built, average weight and have a below-average vocabulary for the Korean language. Not surprising, since I’m from Singapore and my mother tongue is Mandarin. I have chosen to be a vampire hunter because I have always wanted to be different. If I’d followed my country’s blueprint for “economic success”, I’d be mugging for my exams, get a degree, and eventually get holed up in an office cubicle. Or worse, after years of hard work in a company, a new CEO comes in and you get retrenched.

Instead, I bought a one-way flight ticket to Japan and travelled to the Yamaguchi prefecture. There, I enrolled myself into the Tokuyama Academy of Demonology (徳山 殺妖者 学社), and I was trained to be a vampire hunter. My course instructor, Master Seiji Inada has now become my working partner. Although I feel that I’m rather talented, Master Seiji always tells me that my success has more to do with sheer luck than with skill.

(picture source: google earth maps)

Under the invitation of the local government, we arrived here in Jeju Island six months ago to set up a hunting agency. Our office is in the Samdo-1-Dong (삼도 일동) district, which at first glance might not seem like one. Well, the office actually functions as our home and we have a female member living under the roof together. Han Mirae (한미래), our secretary of sorts, helps with the paperwork and housekeeping. She sometimes tags along with us when we do our vampire slaying thing.

Mirae was orphaned at a tender age, and had been raised in a Catholic Convent, until she was old enough to work and make a living. That’s how we met her and invited her to work for us. Apart from secretarial work, Mirae also treats the wounds and injuries that we receive after fighting and killing the vampires. Mirae just doesn’t enjoy that feeling of stabbing a sword across, or gunning a bullet into a vampire’s chest. She feels really bad about having to kill a fellow Korean. It just doesn’t seem right to her about killing a fellow countryman. In fact, this girl had saved the life of a vampire recently, and his name is Shin Taewoo (신태우).

Earlier this evening, I caught her packing a few make-up items into her bag, along with a comb and mirror, and she was out the door before I had time to ask her where she was going. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail, and she was wearing black winter stockings, a red long jacket and a white sweater with a turtleneck. Nevertheless, as she was hurrying away down the street, I poked my head out the door and yelled. “Hey Mirae! Where are you going?”

“Out!” she called back, waving and skipping around a corner. Without further guessing, she must have gone to see Taewoo. I blew out a sigh of resignation, failing to understand why Mirae is so mesmerised by that vampire. However, what pisses me off is that Mirae isn’t the only one who’s being kind to Taewoo. If it wasn’t for Master Seiji, I could have easily finished him off on several occasions. The Japanese hunter seems very protective of him, and there’s just something odd about this. I can’t quite place it, but I know there’s something fishy going on.

I don't actually know if Taewoo is good or bad. Truth is, no one knows much about this vampire. The only thing I know for sure is that he's one of the Guerillas (former rebels). And they have been at war with the Regiments (former soldiers) for more than fifty years.

Chapter Two

Walking along the deserted street towards Taewoo’s house, Mirae rubs her hands and blows her breath to keep them warm, as the chilly autumn night envelopes her. Taewoo had brought her home a few nights before, so the route to his house is still fresh in her mind. She has a talent for memorizing things, and her memory is serving her flawlessly now. The house is standing on the high part of a sloping acre, and the surroundings has an unkempt look, pebbled and weedy. A deserted motel, Taewoo’s house has layers of old paint snaking off the exterior. The Korean girl squints at the building before her, looking for any sign of life, and seeing none. Maybe the two brothers aren’t at home, she ponders, beginning to pick her way through the grass toward the front door. The blades of grass reach mid-shin, and it’s a bit itchy, but she carefully skirts the high clumps, and makes it to the front door unscathed.

She knocks a few times on the door, waits, and tries again when she doesn’t get an answer. She then presses her ear to the door, listening for noise from within. She thinks she’s hearing a slight rustling, but that may be something else. Like the rats from the basement. Mirae shivers at the thought. She edges back and tries to open the door, but it doesn’t budge at all. She then leans over to peer in through a window, only to find it boarded up. She scowls, and stomps off around the house, trying to find another way in. To her disappointment however, all the windows on the ground floor are boarded up, and there’s no way she can pry them away, no matter how hard she tries. She growls in frustration, stomping her foot angrily.

Mirae just wants to see Taewoo, that’s all. Do the Shin brothers really have to board their windows up and not answer the door so she can’t get in like this? She growls again, and is just about to try the front door again when she spots a drain pipe conveniently placed right beside an open window. The pipe is rusty, but this seems to be her only option now. Mirae hangs the strap of her bag between her jaws, clenching it with her teeth, and begin to scale the pipe.

Gripping the pipe tightly in her hands, she takes a swing and manages to cling on to the window sill. She then struggles with the partially open window pane, hauling herself halfway over before losing hold of her bag. It drops all the way down to the ground, and she stares at it for a moment, her eyes narrowing. She then huffs and - deciding she doesn’t much want to scale the pipe again, and that she can simply pick it up on her way out - leaves it there, hidden beneath the tall grass.

Mirae dusts the flakes of rust off her hands. The room she finds herself in once she climbed over the window sill is sparsely decorated with cobwebs. The motel bed is now reduced to a dusty mattress on box springs, but her eyes are immediately drawn to the silver flute resting on it. She walks slowly to it, her footsteps seeming unusually loud in the quiet house. Fingering the holes on the instrument, she experiments with blowing, but it’s a lot harder than it seems. Her face is getting red from the exertion, and she eventually lays the flute back down. The door suddenly creaks open, and Mirae gives a little squeak of surprise.

A figure appears, dressed in a black fleece jacket. At first Mirae thinks it’s Taewoo, because of the black wavy hair and red eyes. But she soon realizes it’s Shin Eunwoo (신 은우), Taewoo’s elder brother. She finds the sharp edge of a sword against her throat, not even realizing the blade had been drawn. It glimmers maliciously in the moonlight, and she gulps.

“Annyung haseyo,” she greets with a slight bow, smiling weakly, hoping the blade doesn’t slip on accident. Or on purpose.

Eunwoo observes her silently for a few more seconds, then lowers his sword to sheath it. “How can I help you?” he asks with an aloof scowl on his face, still-crimson eyes watching her. With an unblemished face and two large eyes, Mirae could be more beautiful if Eunwoo hasn’t startled her with his sword. Mirae squirms a bit under his gaze, but replies in a steady voice.

“I would like to talk to Taewoo,” she replies, and Eunwoo nods slightly, then gestures slightly to the door. Mirae walks out, shutting it behind her, and almost instantly hears the sound of the flute she’d been examining not a minute before.

"How beautiful", she reflects as she wanders through the house, searching for Taewoo’s room. She’d found it before in the same manner, and she manages to do it again this time.

Taewoo is lying on his bed, hands interlaced behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling, but he looks up when Mirae pokes her head in. He blinks a few times, clearly not expecting her to pop into his room like that.

“What are you doing back?” he asks, and Mirae can’t stop a slight smile from crossing her face. The exact question his elder brother had asked of her.

“I just wanted to talk to you,” she replies...

.......................................................................

This excerpt is found in the sequel to Curse of Jeju Island,
BLOOD ENEMIES OF JEJU ISLAND,
which will be released depending on the sale performance of the first book~

For those of you reading this and have bought and read my first book, I'd like to say A BIG THANK YOU~!! :)

For those of you who have not bought or read it yet, I encourage you to pick up a copy at a bookstore near you, so that the second book may be released sooner...

Thanks for all your continuous support~!

How The Korean Vampires Came To Be

Korea was under the colonial rule of the Japanese Empire between 1910 and 1945.

During the Japanese occupation, thousands of Koreans were used as test subjects (guinea pigs) in secret military medical experimentation units, such as Unit 731, Unit 516, and many more. Towards the end of the colonial period, the Japanese military scientists were working on a new project, which was a "vampirisation process" on humans through genetic alteration.

If the project proved successful, the "supposedly-dead" could remain alive through parasitic life sustenance - a biological mechanism that mimics the blood-sucking vampire bats and leeches. The Japanese Army paid some poor hapless Korean parents to allow the medical officers to perform the experiments on their children. However, the Korean parents involved in the transaction believed that the experiments were merely another series of medical trials, and were not aware that it was actually a vampirisation process.

Theoretically-speaking, the success of this project would allow the Japanese Imperial Army to utilise the "undead" as "immortal soldiers" to fight through the end of World War II. The project, however, didn't seem to yield any immediate nor apparent result, as the Korean children in question didn't seem to show any physical sign of becoming "vampirised". The medical officers could not find any sort of cell mutation nor behavioural change in these children.

The project was finally abandoned, when the Japanese Army were forced to surrender to the Allied Forces in 1945 after the American dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima. All documents and project facilities pertaining to the said experiments were destroyed, so as to eliminate evidences of the Japanese Imperial Army's atrocious deeds.

The children grew up normally - some of them joined the US-led South Korean Army (known as the Regiments), while some of them embraced communist ideals and became the insurgents (known as the Guerrilas). The two remained at war until the "Jeju Massacre" , which claimed the lives of more than 60,000 people. Their bodies were then sealed in the volcanic cave of Mount Halla. Amongst these 60,000 people were some of the test subjects who were earlier involved in the vampirisation process. The vampirisation process only became effective when these dead bodies were laid in the cave.

The geological conditions (temperature, mineral make-up, etc) of the volcano cave helped to promote the vampirisation process, and their genetic structure mutated to resemble the feeding patterns of bloodsucking creatures such as bats and leeches. Thus these group of the dead were resurrected to become vampires, as they acquired the ability to shapeshift into bats, and back into their human form. They are now doomed to roam the streets of Jeju seeking living human prey.

Could Seiji Inada, being a Japanese vampire hunter, somehow be linked to the vampirisation project conducted by the Japanese Army several decades ago?Hhhmm... It very well could, especially if his father, Kazuhito Inada was one of the soldiers involved during World War II...

Find out more in the sequel to the Curse of Jeju Island:

BLOOD ENEMIES OF

JEJU ISLAND

(In Progress of Writing)

Curse of Jeju Island's Library Traffic

http://newarrivals.nlb.gov.sg/item_holding.aspx?bid=12924650

I've been visiting the National Library's (click above link) web database recently to spy on my book's popularity and I'm glad that it's doing fairly well with an average 25% borrowing rate. It seems that the NLB has acquired about fifty copies of my book and roughly 10-15 of them are being borrowed... As the books seem to be borrowed from branches where the convent schools are located, I have a feeling that most of my readers are female... probably because of its supernatural/romance twist, which reminds them of Stephanie Meyer's TWILIGHT series...

While a 25% borrowing rate is considered good for a local book, I'd be much happier if a reader likes it so much that he/she decides to buy from the bookstore instead. The book is retailing at S$12.89 in the local bookstores, & you can find it at the Popular bookstore in the "SINGAPORE COLLECTION" shelves, & at Kinokuniya/Borders at the Children's Section...

Concerned parents may protest that a vampire fiction like mine shouldn't be located in the Children's section, with all the blood & gore... I grew up with a healthy dose of 'Hardy Boys', 'Famous Five', "Secret Seven', 'Three Investigators' sort of stories, but today's children are different are experiencing a different kind of childhood from mine. They have grown up prematurely and are already used to fast-paced action-packed media (games/movies), so I'm pretty sure my story doesn't require an NC-16 rating...

My books are sharing limited space on the shelves, competing with dozens other titles, and all you can see are the thin spines screaming silently for attention... So I'd like to appeal to anyone reading this: if you happen to visit any of the bookstores but have no intention of buying my book, I'd be most grateful if you could do me a simple favour of sieving them out of the obscure shelves and place them strategically at the conspicuous spots where people can notice them at first glance, ie. the New Arrivals section, Bestselling section, or place them next to the "Movie Tie-In" titles such as Nim's Island, the Caspian Prince, Speed Racer, etc... Xie Xie~!!!

The book has been reviewed on Sunday Times and TEENS magazine, and also appraised online by 2 bloggers. It's really heartening to know that there are actually readers who do care enough to give a tonne more than their two cents' worth and provided a critical analysis on this light novel... If you're interested, here are the links:

http://guardian--angel.blogspot.com/2007/

http://www.seriouslysarah.com/blog/

Picking out the best-sellers

Everyone knows whether he or she likes a book, or not, after reading it. DAPHNE LEE finds out how book merchandisers figure out which titles you’ll like before reading them.

YOU can’t judge a book by its cover. But some do. While the prettiest jacket will not disguise a badly-written book, there’s no denying that a customer with nothing particular in mind, browsing indiscriminately in a bookstore and faced with hundreds of books, might well choose the one with the most attractive cover.

Book merchandisers know this and, therefore, the look of a book is something they do notice when ordering new titles.

Seto Kit Sau, who is unit chief of the Kinokuniya Bookstore's children’s fiction department says, “Yes, I like to choose nice covers, but they also have to have good content.”

She names Into the Forest by Anthony Browne as a prime example of a book with an intriguing cover “and a very cool story to boot.”

Children’s book merchandisers agree that children are attracted to colourful covers and parents, too, are often similarly influenced.

“The book cover and design do play a pivotal role in determining its popularity and saleability,” says Samantha Tang, merchandising manager at Popular Book Co.

She says that the first impression is very important and, for busy parents, it may be the only thing that leads to a purchase.

“Most of the time, parents don’t know where to start looking and, if they are not interested in browsing through the book themselves, then the cover is the only thing they have to go by.”

That’s where the merchandiser comes in. He or she has to ensure that, as far as possible, a book’s content lives up to its appearance.

For Kinokuniya's merchandisers, all avid readers themselves, the books they choose must pass the “first paragraph” test.

Teressa Hoon, unit chief of Kinokuniya's literature and general fiction sections, explains: “The first paragraph has to grip you immediately. It must make you want to read more. Even better, it must make you reluctant to put the book down.”

An interesting title is also a plus as it can prompt one to take a book off the shelf in the first place (without which there can be no reading of the first paragraph).

Kinokuniya's non-fiction merchandiser, Yong Jet Yau, picked Rory Stewart's The Places in Between because of its “intriguing title” as well as subject matter: the author's account of his walk across northern Afghanistan shortly after the fall of the Taliban.

Shortly after Kinokuniya started selling the book, it entered the New York Times best-sellers list.

Kinokuniya included it in their Gem of the Month promotion last month and it sold out.

“It's great when a book you believe in sells well,” says Yong. “It makes me feel like I'm on the right track.”

Like her colleagues, she likes the task of introducing customers to books that are new, interesting and surprising.

Says the merchandising manager of the store, Abby Wong, “Informed buying is our ultimate objective. We should know our product and we shouldn't underestimate the intelligence of our consumers.

“Book buyers can start trends by exposing Malaysians to new titles. You often hear customers mention the same old business books, the same old self-help or science books, but there really is so much more out there.”

Yes, there is, but among the many good reads, dross sometimes lurks – and sometimes it ends up on the shelves anyway, thanks to popular demand.

Says Seto, “Sometimes market demands compel us to order books that are not well written. Sometimes, they are popular because they are associated with a hit movie or TV show.”

Although these are books that Seto, if she had her way, would like to keep off the shelves, a merchandiser is required to keep an open mind and not be swayed by personal taste.

“Our likes and dislikes definitely influence our decisions, but we have to be careful not to get too carried away by our own tastes,” says Yvonne Chau, the MPH Bookstores merchandising manager for general books, a department that includes cookery and self-help titles.

Ultimately, bookstores are businesses and the bottom line is to make a profit.

So, as Tang puts it, “We have to try to be conscious of the fact that what we prefer might not be what the public wants.”

What the public wants, apparently, are bestsellers by the likes of Dan Brown, John Grisham and Sophie Kinsella, feng shui books by Joey Yap and Lilian Too, and self-help manuals.

This is why merchandisers must take heed of international bestsellers lists and the latest efforts of tried-and-tested authors.

Hoon says, “Naturally, I will order more copies of a book by A-list authors like Michael Connelly, Mitch Alborn and Kazuo Ishiguro.”

For chains like MPH Bookstores and Times the Bookshop, there is the added complication of differing demands depending on the outlet.

“For example, business books are very popular at our store in Suria KLCC so there is a larger Business section there,” says Wong Yuen Poh, Times' retail manager.

“But, at Bangsar Shopping Centre (in Kuala Lumpur), general fiction titles are more in demand because that is a residential area. We try our best to track the sales in the different outlets to determine the needs of the customers,” she says.

Says Chau, “We take note of the area, the sort of customers and their spending power, and taste in reading material, but sometimes trends change.

“Ten years ago, Malay fiction sold best at the store in Alpha Angle (in Petaling Jaya, Selangor), but English titles are gaining in popularity now.”

“Malaysian authors like Tash Aw (author of the The Harmony Silk Factory) tend to be popular in all the stores,” adds Ramji. “And Devika Bai (The Flight of the Swans) is especially popular in Johor Baru because that was where she lived.”

Malay romance novels are also extremely popular, along with religious books.

Over the last five to 10 years, says Ramji Rabi, MPH’s assistant merchandising manager for the fiction department, Malaysians have increasingly paid more attention to literary award winners.

However, not all winners are hits with Malaysians. Two titles that have been a great success here are Life of Pi by Yann Martell and The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy.

“What makes the real difference is media attention,” says Wong. “Customers will ask for books that are highlighted by newspapers.”

All the merchandisers we spoke with make it a point to read or at least research what they are choosing for the stores.

“It makes sense to know what we are selling,” says Tang, who says that when time constraints do not allow her to read a book from cover to cover, she then reads reviews in trade magazines and online bookstores, compares sales reports of books in the same genre and seeks the distributors' advice.

“An interest in reading is an asset in this job,” she says. “Thousands of new books are published every year and we must be able to cherry pick titles suitable for our local market.”

SELECTION OF PAPER

We have decided to go with off-white recycled paper instead of virgin white paper for the publishing of my book.

Recycled off-white paper are more expensive than virgin pure-white paper, but it saves the trees and the yellowish tint means it's less strenuous for the readers to read.

The Publishing Process

At first my publisher wanted to do away with the cover flaps, because he wanted to give the book a “novel-like” look. (Flaps are like “wings” of the book cover, and extension which allows extra information such as the story synopsis, or author’s profile to be included) But I disagreed with him. I felt that cover flaps can help to make the book look more sturdy, and make it look more like a “hard-cover” book.

The flaps also help prevent the book cover from being crumpled/dog-eared. In addition for cover flaps, I also requested for the first and last page of the book to be made of red art paper. I feel this will enhance the “quality feel” of the book, and thus increase its perceived value.

Even if all 1,000 copies of the first print-run were sold, we’d only get to break even. The chance of making a loss on this publication is very high. So why do we still go ahead and publish the book? Because the profit would come from the larger print volume (based on economies of scale) on subsequent prints.

I’d like you to give me your support. If you like the book after browsing through it at the bookstore, do buy it. It helps the writer (me!!! ^^) place food on the table.

Thank you. ☺

Book Cover Design

When my publisher (Candid Creation) sent me the cover art for my debut fiction, Curse of Jeju Island, I liked it very much. The colours red, white and black fit with the theme. Here's what they've done so far:





This cover is actually a result of emails that went to and fro between my publisher and I. Yes, there should be mutual respect and exchange of ideas and information between the writer and his publisher. After much discussion on the colour theme, illustration, and selection of font, the result is a design which I'm very satisfied with.

THE ART OF STORY TEASING

Apart from the cover design and the author’s name, the story synopsis may be the most powerful sales tool for your book, the final thing that clinches the deal in the reader’s mind and makes him/her carry that book to the cash register. Here’s what will appear on the back cover of CURSE OF JEJU ISLAND:

Over fifty years ago, 60,000 people were killed during the 'Jeju Massacre' on Jeju island, South Korea, when the South Korean Army attempted to brutally suppress an armed insurrection by the people of Jeju.

The bodies of the victims - civilians,rebels, and soldiers alike - were sealed in a volcanic cave on Mount Halla to rest, or so it was hoped, in peace for all eternity.

However, decades later, some of these bodies were mysteriously resurrected as vampires and they are now doomed to roam the streets of Jeju seeking living human prey and continuing the battles that they once fought in life. Thus, the bitter feud between two mortal factions - The Regiments (former soldiers) and The Guerrillas (formal rebels) - has now become immortal.

Today, fifty years later, we meet Han Mirae, a young Korean girl who is caught in a love triangle between Jackie Chang, a swashbuckling vampire hunter from Singapore, and Shin Taewoo, a powerful vampire of the Guerrillas. And, we meet Lee Hyunsuk, the opal-eyed vampire of the Regiments, who abducts Mirae in order to set a trap to kill the other two.

Can Taewoo or Jackie save the girl in time? And who is Mirae's real love?

Korean Meets Singaporean: Funny Dialogues

HY (i shan't reveal her real name) is my friend who's a Korean flight attendant with SIA. When she first started her job as a trainee crew, there were some funny incidents which happened because of her grasp of English.. Please don't take it that i'm trying to ridicule the Koreans but rather look at it that i'm just sharing some thing here with everyone just for a good laugh, ok?

Incident One - Keopi of Straits Times
============================

Flight Passenger: Can i have a copy of Straits Times please?

HY: (thinking to herself: "Keopi" and Straits Times?)
*in Korean, "Keopi"(커피) means "Coffee"

Shortly after, HY returns with the customer's request.

HY: Sir, here is your Keopi and Straits Times.

Flight Passenger: (looking puzzled) Did I ask for coffee?

Incident Two - Catch up in Your Work
===============================
Flight Supervisor: HY, i think you should try to catch up in your work.

HY left abruptly and returned shortly with a sachet in her hand.

HY: You asked for Ketchup?

---------------

i also personally experienced such incidents 3 years ago
when i had my first brush with Korean people. At that time,
i haven't started learning Korean & a few Koreans didn't have
a good grasp of English either..Anyway, here goes:

Incident Three - So Far?
=================
i was having a conversation with a Korean executive.

Me: So, how's your job getting so far?
(it's supposed to mean: is it getting interesting, tough, boring?, etc)

Executive: So far? No, not far.. near my house..


Incident Four - How I Found It
=======================
i was having a conversation with a Korean secretary.

Me: So, how do you find your job?
(it's supposed to mean: is it interesting, is it tough, boring?, etc)

Secretary: Oh, i found it from the newspapers...


Incident Five - I am Fine, Thank You
==========================
i was still talking with the same Korean secretary.

Me: Oh, i see.. how old are you, by the way?

Secretary: I am fine, thank you.

巫侠小说 CHINESE WIZARDS

Excerpt:

Ancient China During 1115 BC

It was a dark time in the magical lands of ancient China, known as the Central Realm (中原). The Jurchen army of Jin Kingdom (金国) collaborated with the evil clan of “Xiemo” (邪魔圣教) and overthrew the Liao Kingdom (辽国). The Jurchen are one of the Non-Chinese nomad peoples that inhabited the area of modern Manchuria in China's northeast. Having conquered the Liao Kingdom, the king of Jin, Wanyan Aguda (完颜 阿骨打) then proclaimed himself emperor of the Jin Empire. To thank the Xiemo clan for his support, Wanyan Aguda declared the clan’s leader, Lord Mozun (魔尊), as the Prime Minister. All the members of Xiemo clan, known as Moguizi (魔鬼子), rose in power and became the evil military police of the new kingdom.

The people of the former Liao Kingdom lived in terror as they were violently oppressed by Moguizi on a daily basis. Everyday there were rumours of villages that had been destroyed or people being tortured to death simply for their oppressors’ entertainment. Freedom had simply ceased to exist the day the Liao Kingdom was conquered.

The neighbouring Chinese people of the Song Empire (宋朝) were still holding out in the war against the Jurchen and Moguizi. The Jurchen had already captured Northern Song (北宋), and it would only be a matter of time before Southern Song (南宋), too, would fall. The fall of the Liao Kingdom had changed the balance of power, and it was obvious that the entire Central Realm would eventually be swallowed by the Jin Empire as eventually.

At the same time, there lived a community of highly skilled Chinese wizards known as Wuxia（巫侠).’Wu’ means anything related to witchcraft and wizardry, while ‘Xia’ refers to a chivalrous and righteous person. Thus ‘Wuxia’ refers to a righteous person who excels in wizarding kungfu (巫灵功夫) and who uses their magical expertise to protect the innocent and right social unfairness or injustice (鋤強扶弱). Such a person is said to possess ‘magical virtue’ (巫德), and usually regarded as a people’s champion. The wizarding community was made up of several clans, and the two most prominent of them all was the Wudang clan (巫当派) and Shaoling clan (少灵派).

This story begins with a 16 year girl who lived in the Yang Village (杨家村) near the Northeastern borderlands of the former Liao kingdom. Her name was Shangguan Lingxue (上官灵雪), and she was the daughter of a village physician (a.k.a. healer).

It was mid summer, and Lingxue had ventured into the woods to gather some herbs for her father. The girl hadn’t been lucky however, and before she knew it, it was quite late. ‘I should really get back to the village before it gets too dark.’ she sighed.

However, she noticed something was wrong when she was still a distance away from the edge of the woods; there was a reddish glow in the night sky, toward the vicinity of the village. Fearing the worse, Lingxue hurried toward the edge of the woods. When she finally got there, she gasped.

The village was under attack! Straw and wooden huts were on fire and Moguizi were running all over the place along with dark creatures that appeared to be under their control! Ogres, minotaurs, goblins, werewolves (collectively known as ‘demons’ or ‘妖魔’) were tearing down buildings and killing every living thing in sight that was not a Moguizi or a demon! Lingxue stared in shock as she saw many people he knew personally being murdered right before her very eyes! Then, before anyone saw her, she turned around and ran! Lingxue ran as fast as her legs could carry her away from the massacre: away from the only life that she knew that had been taken from her in one attack.

Eventually, Lingxue grew exhausted and collapsed under a willow tree (柳树). As she sat there, the reality of what she had just witnessed settled in, and she burst into tears. ‘My family is dead,’ she thought. ‘My friends, my home, my whole life is gone. What more can possibly happen?’ At this, she started crying even harder. It was only after her tears had subsided a little when she noticed a large shadow falling over her. Slowly, Lingxue looked up into the face of one of the minotaurs (黑牛魔) from the village. These black minotaurs were known as Heiniumo in the Central Realm.

The Heiniumo was twelve feet tall, had ebon skin, had a pair of sharp-looking onyx horns, and was carrying a large wooden club. Lingxue was too paralyzed with fear to even scream as the heiniumo grabbed her by the waist and hoisted her up. “No....please....” was all she could say as more tears flowed down her cheeks. She anticipated the worse as the heiniumo slowly started lumbering back towards the village, carrying the sobbing girl in its hand.

It was then that it happened. A young Wuxia (巫侠) was riding a divine condor (神雕), and he jumped out in front of the heiniumo, startling both the heiniumo and Lingxue. The condor had ivory-coloured feathers, and was striding in big steps with its two extremely thick legs. From the way it walked, with its head held high, the white condor certainly showed great power and grandeur.

The Wuxia, too, was a magnificent sight to behold. He was about Lingxue’s age and was quite tall and handsome. He was dressed in blue tunic, and clad in black boots. From beneath his shoulder coverings flowed a brilliant red cape and in his right hand he carried a silver sword with beautiful inscriptions adorning the blade. The winds were combing through his raven black hair, but the most striking aspects of the Wuxia were his thick brooding eyebrows.

“Put the girl down,” the Wuxia ordered.

At first, the heiniumo simply stared at the Wuxia. Then, without warning, the heiniumo let out a huge growl and swung its club toward the Wuxia! There was a sound of metal hitting wood as the Wuxia blocked the club with his sword. He then sent his condor jumping behind the heiniumo. The heiniumo turned around and swung his club again, only to have it once again deflected by the sword. Angrily, the heiniumo swung the club down with the all the strength he could muster! This time, the Wuxia had his horse jump out of the way as the club came crashing down.

All of a sudden, the Wuxia wielded his sword at the heiniumo and shouted “降妖剑法!” (“Xiangyao Jianfa” means “Demon-subduing Swordplay”)

Lingxue’s eyes widened as a red light shot out of the sword and hit the heiniumo, sending its club flying out of its hand into a shrub about ten feet away. The heiniumo looked confused as the Wuxia next shouted ‘乾坤魔移!’ (“Qiankun Moyi” means “Magical Maneuver of Qiankun”)

Lingxue screamed as she was mystically flown out of the heiniumo’s grasp and went drifting through the air. A second afterwards, she found herself in the arms of the Wuxia. The Wuxia shouted ‘魂飞魄散!’ causing the heiniumo to fall unconscious. (“Hunfei Posan” means “Broken Spirit, Scattered Soul”) Lingxue looked into the brilliant eyes of her rescuer and promptly fainted.

With Lingxue and the rider on its back, the condor fluttered its wings and flew toward a tall mountain. Green and luxuriant, the forest was thick, this mountain was called Mount Wudang (巫当山).

A huge towering mansion stood on the peak of Mount Wudang with a tall flagpole on either side of its gate. The flagpoles were about thirty feet tall, each with a huge red banner streaming in the wind. The banner on the left was embroidered in yellow silk, bearing the image of a majestic dragon. As the banner fluttered back and forth in the wind, the dragon seemed as though it had come alive and were about to jump down at any time. Just above the dragon’s head was a pair of bats, embroidered in black silk, waving their wings in flying motion. The banner on the right bore two huge Chinese characters in black that read “WU DANG,” all written in a bold, vigorous calligraphy.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Spring was always a relaxing time of the year on Mount Wudang. The breeze gently brushed the willow trees and wild flowers, causing the air to be filled with the pleasant scent of the season.

When Lingxue woke up, the first thing she saw was a pair of twinkling eyes gazing at her. As her vision came in focus, she saw that they belonged to a kind looking bearded old man dressed in a Taoist tunic (道袍). He was standing in front of a wall with a swirling black and white emblem, known as “Taichi” (太极).

"Ah, I see that you have woken, Lingxue Guniang." (Guniang means “young lady” or “miss” in Chinese)

Lingxue looked around. She was lying on a bed in the middle of a small room with stone-brick walls. Sunlight was streaming through the windows behind her and there was a wooden door not far away from her bed. The old man was sitting on a stool right next to the bed.

Lingxue stared at the old man in bewilderment. "Wh-who are you? Where am I? H-how do you know my n-name?"

The old man chuckled and stroke his beard. "Ah, yes. In answer to your first question, my name is Taiji Xuanfeng (太极玄丰). I’m the founder of Wudang Clan (巫当派) and also the clan’s Grandmaster. In answer to your second question, you are in a guest room of Mount Wudang (巫当山). In answer to your third question...well lets just say that I have ways of finding things out."

Lingxue was about to ask more questions when the door opened and two Wuxia walked in. Lingxue recognized one of them (with his raven black hair, brooding eyebrows, and red cape) as the one who had saved her from the minotaur. The other Wuxia was a little taller. He had fiery crimson hair and also wore a blue tunic, with a sword hanging from his belt, and he was draped in a violet cape.

"Ah, most excellent timing," Xuanfeng gestured toward the violet-caped Wuxia. "This is Sima Yufei (司马育飞).” The old man then gestured toward the other Wuxia. "I believe you have already met Ouyang Qingyun (欧阳庆云). Yufei and Qingyun are two of my most outstanding grand-disciples."

Qingyun smiled. "Are you all right?" he asked with concern in his eyes.

Lingxue bowed her head. You have saved my life, Master Ouyang," she said. "I am forever in the debt of your grace..."

"Please just call me Qingyun," interrupted the Wuxia. "And call him Yufei. We really hate those ridiculous formalities that people use with us. And you can forget about that 'eternal debt'. I was only doing what any Wuxia would have done, so don't worry about it."

"Wuxia?" asked Lingxue.

"That's what we are," said Qingyun. "The Wuxia is a group of righteous people who are skilled in wizarding kungfu (巫灵功夫). Our mission is to protect the innocent and weak from evil and to uphold justice within the Central Realm. Our ultimate goal however, is to destroy the Xiemo clan and overthrow the Jin Empire."

"Now I am sure you would all like to continue with the conversation but I believe Lingxue guniang deserves some rest now," said Xuanfeng. "There’ll be a meeting tomorrow and I would like her to attend." As the door closed, Lingxue wondered about what she had gotten herself into.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day, Lingxue answered a knocking on her door and was greeted by a blind man with shaggy gold hair, like the mane of a wild lion.

"Good day, Lingxue guniang," he said with a groggy voice. "My name's Xiongxun (雄逊). People call me Gold-mane Lion (金头狮爷). I'm here to show you to Wudang’s Grand Hall."

The Grand Hall, itself, had a large vermilion gate, with a pair of stone lions decorating the entrance. Teacup-sized copper studs on the gate shone in the bright sunlight. Above the gate, characters in gold lacquer were inscribed on a huge sign reading, “巫当大殿”, which meant “The Grand Hall of Wudang”. Beyond the gate were two rows of junior apprentices in blue Taoist robes, with poker faces seemingly in high alert.

Inside the hall were hundreds of Wudang disciples (巫当弟子) all standing in neat, straight rows. On the east side of the hall sat six people. Taiji Xuanfeng had four direct male disciples: Master Hongye (Red Leaf), Master Lanshi (Blue Stone), Master Qinghai (Green Sea), and Master Huangsha (Yellow Sand). Wudang On the left sat a Taoist nun, about 40 years old. The nun’s surname was Zhou (周), and her Taoist name was "Ziyan" (Purple Mist). She was the Wingmaster of the Women’s Wing of Wudang. As a group, they were known as the “Five Elders of Wudang”.

The Grandmaster stroke his white beard with his right hand and exuded an aura of deep contentment. Their chairs were placed about one metre apart from one another, and behind each stood more than twenty youths.

Lingxue noticed Yufei and Qingyun as they beamed at her when she stood behind Taiji Xuanfeng. Xuanfeng smiled at her before he raised his voice to make an announcement.

"Members of Wudang Clan," he spoke. "The young lady behind me is Miss Shangguan Lingxue (上官灵雪). Three days ago, Miss Lingxue lost her home and family in an attack by the Moguizi. Therefore, she shall be staying on Mount Wudang for the time being. However, I am positive she would not want her time here to be wasted. Therefore, though she is a mere village commoner, I extend to her an invitation to join the Women’s Wing and to be trained in basic wizarding kungfu (巫功) and wushu (巫术) so that she may be able to defend herself from the threats of Jurchens and the evil Xiemo Clan. That is, of course, if she accepts."

Lingxue was speechless. She spent a few minutes thinking about the offer but she could only come to one conclusion. The Xiemo Clan had taken everything from her and now she was being given the chance to strike back at them. Furthermore, she was being given a shot at a new life after her old one had been crushed. After a few moments, Lingxue looked up and simply replied, "I accept your kind offer, Grandmaster Xuanfeng."

“Great,” said the venerable Xuanfeng. “In that case I shall leave you under the tutelage of Madam Zhou Ziyan, the Wingmaster of our Women’s Wing.”

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

During the months that followed, Madam Ziyan trained Lingxue in all forms of wizarding kungfu and wushu. Being a fast learner, she excelled at the various skills within a span of weeks. Unfortunately, Lingxue was not as fortunate in martial arts. It turned out that she was very good in defending herself with a bamboo staff (竹棍), but there was no hope for her when it came to swords, spears, bows and arrows, or any kind of pugilistic weapon for that matter. However, it didn't really matter since her abilities with wushu and the staff made up for all her shortcomings with other weapons. If there was one thing that she was absolutely horrible at however, that would have to be riding a condor. She learned this the hard way by falling off three times before finally giving up.

Lingxue pursued a number of activities during her free time. Sometimes, on bright sunny days, Lingxue would be playing the flute, sitting in a pavillion by the edge of the bamboo forest (竹林) that surrounded the Wudang clanhouse. She would be approached by a jade dragon (玉龙), which came to her since jade dragons and other pure creatures only approached virgin maidens (玉女).

Lingxue also spent time with the two young Wudang disciples, Yufei and Qingyun. As she grew more comfortable around them, she eventually managed to drop the formalities that had been grounded into her since childhood. In no time at all, she grew to become extremely close friends with Yufei and Qingyun. Yufei was always teasing Lingxue, and it wasn't uncommon to hear the two arguing in a friendly squabble. Although on the surface, they seemed to be arguing all the time, they were actually very fond of each other and enjoyed the others' company.

Qingyun was another matter altogether. He was kind and compassionate and always looked at Lingxue with concern and sympathy in his eyes. Lingxue always felt the most safe and secure whenever she was with Qingyun and Qingyun was happy to be around Lingxue. If there was one Wudang member that Lingxue could've stayed with at all times, he would have had to have been Qingyun. Qingyun, for his part, formed a special friendship with her and allowed her into a part of his heart that previously he had only let Yufei into. Whenever she looked under Qingyun’s brooding eyebrows, Lingxue saw a young man who had grown up deprived of love and had seen much sorrow and pain during his life. Sometimes, it took her all the willpower she had to keep herself from holding him in her arms and comforting him.

One day, two months since Lingxue had stayed in Wudang, there was a clan meeting in the Grand Hall. After the initial chatter had died down, Taiji Xuanfeng spoke up.

"Last night while I was gazing at the stars in the sky. I witnessed a huge celestial rock which was landing near the Central Realm from the mystical heavens. Such a rock is known as the ‘Tianwai Feishi’ (天外飛石), and it’s said to be inscribed with a message or new magical powers from the gods. I have divined that the celestial rock has probably landed within the borders of the Liao Kingdom. Therefore, I ask for volunteers to go and make a visit and find the rock before the Moguizi find it too."

Lingxue, realizing that this could be her chance to prove herself, jumped up immediately. "I’ll volunteer for it!" she shouted.

Xuanfeng beamed. "I thought you might, Miss Lingxue."

"I'm not comfortable about her going alone though," said Qingyun. "I, also, volunteer for this quest."

"So do I," said Yufei.

"Very well,” said Xuanfeng. “I wish you three good luck when you leave tomorrow. May the ‘Qi’ be with you." (In Chinese wizardry, “Qi” is a part of every living thing that exists, as a kind of “magical force” or “spiritual energy.”)

ALL RIGHTS OF THE "巫侠", "巫灵功夫", "少灵" & "巫当" CONCEPTS & STORY CONTENT RESERVED TO RONNIE NG 2007-2008

Light Novel Out in November!

Studies: Adults aren't reading as much

One in four adults read no books last year.
But of the three adults who did read, women as well as
senior citizens were the most avid readers.

children's and young adult book sales flourish in June
(22.2 percent increase in hardcover books, 7.1 percent
in paperback books)

women do read more literature than men.
Slightly more than one-third of men now read literature, it found.

Reading takes time, and that also might factor into fewer readers,
if that is indeed the case.

While book sales may be down, the American Library Association found
public library use continues to grow.

Reading is harder, which might be a reason people are shying away from books, too.
Compared to TV, it's hard. And it's long and it's slow and there's
a very delayed gratification.

In today's fast-paced world, it seems to be getting far more difficult
to engage teenagers in reading books, as opposed to text messaging
and quick online chats.

It is the advanced technology teens have access to today that
distracts them from using books as a way of entertainment.

It doesn't mean they are incapable of reading.
It means they choose to do other things instead.

Kimchi Popiah 김치 포뺘

Ingredients: just 'Kimchi' & 'popiah skin'

actually, in retrospect, & as a word of caution, you should try to squeeze dry the kimchi first before wrapping it with the popiah skin...this is to prevent leaking...or better still, you should place a sheet of seaweed (김) on the popiah skin before placing the kimchi..this is to retain the kimchi's juiciness & prevent the popiah from getting soggy..

i also recommend that you use the crunchy kind of kimchi such as "cabbage kimchi"백채김치 or "cucumber kimchi"오이김치 as that would add chewing texture & improve the tasting sensation... if you are using the non-crunchy types of kimchi, then i suggest you should add some japanese/korean rice...

You can also consider the deep-frying method...

Try It For Yourself & Give Me Your Feedback~!!

Foodcourt Culture of Singapore

If you have any experience in the foodcourt culture of Singapore, you may be aware that the foodcourt attendants are quite efficient when they clear the dishes immediately after you've finished eating.

Most of my Korean friends find the cleaner's act of clearing the dishes while customers are still at their table an act of "disrespect" and "being rude", it's like asking them to leave. While I can appreciate the act of clearing dishes as a way to control customer traffic and improve customer turnover, I do somewhat agree with the Koreans that such acts tend to affect the customer's eating experience adversely. I think food court operators should have faith and trust in singaporean customers that they'd take their leave upon finishing their food if they see that the foodcourt is crowded and that someone else is looking for a seat.

Otherwise, at a time when the foodcourt isn't crowded, there's obviously no point in being so anxious to clear the dishes as to spoil the customers' experience.

Frowning Flag

Found this in a satirical website of Wikipedia, called Uncyclopedia. LOL

Ronnie Recommends - LOVE AS A FOREIGN LANGUAGE

SOURCE OF ARTICLE

http://www.readaboutcomics.com/2004/11/12/love-as-a-foreign-language-vol-1/

Joel’s sick of Korea. He’s sick of teaching English classes, he’s sick of the strange food, he’s sick of not understanding the language, and he’s sick of the cockroach in his apartment that just won’t die. He’s so sick of it all that he’s ready to quit, but just when he’s ready to tender his resignation, everything looks like it’s about to turn around.

J. Torres’s script for Love as a Foreign Language hits all the right notes for a introduction to the series. We really get to know everything important about Joel; his yearning to go back home to Canada, his growing disdain for Korea, his relationship with his co-workers, and his frustration at the barriers that separate himself from Korean culture. What’s great about it is that you never feel like Torres is rattling off exposition or lecturing the reader; all of the information unfolds naturally as we follow Joel through several days of living in Korea and seeing Joel get beaten down by everything around him. You can’t help but feel bad for Joel, as you see how even a day’s worth of language classes slowly saps his enthusiasm and energy until by the end of the day he just doesn’t care anymore. He’s a genuinely likable guy, and seeing those little sparks of energy and excitement about him when he first encounters Hannah makes you want to see more of him like that all the more. As an added bonus, there’s a lot of Torres’s trademark humor in Love as a Foreign Language; little zingers like Joel’s comment on how Korean foods seems like the end result of a dare had me grinning the whole way through the book.

This is the first artwork I remember seeing of Eric Kim’s, but I’m pretty sure that I’d have remembered something this nice if I’d encountered it before. He’s got a great command of body language; little scenes like Joel slumped over a table while Kelly eats her Korean food that could have just been banged out onto the page instead come to life, from Kelly’s fiendish grin as she holds her chopsticks to Joel’s crumpled posture. The whole book is like this; every page flows perfectly from one panel to the next, allowing everything from gags of Joel smacking into the door to his resigned look as he pushes through the subway to come to life. Stylistically, Kim’s art is very much his own, defining a look so effortlessly it makes me wonder if he hasn’t really been drawing comics for years while I just wasn’t paying attention.

Love as a Foreign Language Vol. 1 is a great start to a new series for Torres, Kim, and Oni Press; the fact that it’s just three months until a second volume has me really excited because this is a fantastic book. If there’s any justice, this is about to become the next big thing with comic readers everywhere. I do know that for me, Love as a Foreign Language is a winner from start to finish. Well done.

WIKIPEDIA DOES IT

I think the biggest advantage writers in the 21st century have is the internet, especially wikipedia. Instead of visiting the library, I depend a lot on the wikipedia for info about practically everything.

PONTIANAK PHOTO

I was doing my research over the internet on pontianaks and chanced upon this picture. It was around 3am, and the picture really gave me the creeps. My hair stood and I felt cold.